"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it" Proverbs 22:6
*An elegant child? Why?
Teaching children at a young age is essential. It is at the dawn of their lives that they build the foundation of who they will like to become as an adult. Even though, anyone can learn the art of elegance at any age, it is best to inculcate it from the start so it becomes effortless, almost like a second nature to them.
*Elegance is something you learn and work from the inside
Being elegant is first and foremost a work from within. A negative state of mind or a bad attitude will always reflects poorly on the outside no matter how well-dressed one can be. Children are constantly in the process of learning. Everything they do on a daily basis is an opportunity to learn.
*Say less, do more.
Teaching your children to be elegant can be through talking, giving them instructions and rules of etiquette. You can tell your child "remember to always greet people when entering a room" but I personally think that the best way is to apply it ourselves. Children imitate as they are eager to grow-up and want to do the things like adults. Knowing that, we can ask ourselves : “ Is the tone of my voice always pleasant when I speak?", How do I react when something is upsetting me"? and “Am I a model of self-control or am I easy to burst"?
Teaching elegance will be more difficult if we ask our child to not yell when we, ourselves, scream to be heard. The "do what I say not what I do" phrase is not something I encourage, children will always do what we do, more than what we say. So always keep in mind that elegance must be demonstrated by you first. Be the role model they need.
*The different aspects of your daily life that could be more "elegant"
Think about the different areas of your life that can be improved in terms of elegance:
-your house/your environment:
• Make your home "yours". Frame your best memories, your family,... Invest in paintings or even any decoration that you and your spouse like. Make your home pleasant to see and be in.
• Have a beautiful dining table. Having dinner, lunch or breakfast at home should always be a "special occasion". It’s the occasion for the family to get together, talk and enjoy time with each other. Turn all screens off during meals and make it a special moment. You do not have to set the table like you would when receiving people (although, if this is something you would like to do, go for it). A small bouquet or a few candles can bring a touch of class.
• Make sure you declutter your house. Get rid of the stuff you have accumulated but do not need.
• Keep it fresh, clean and tidy. Having to balance time between work and home, I personally found that doing a bit of chores everyday was more efficient than spending my entire Saturday afternoon cleaning the house (Also, I prefer to spend my Saturday afternoon doing stuff I cannot do during the week). I would clean windows and sanitaries on Mondays, floors on Tuesdays, fridge and microwave on Wednesdays, etc.... no matter what strategy you choose, make sure that your house is neat.
• Choose quality over quantity.
- Your clothing:
• Choose timeless and quality pieces. It can be tempting to buy a 20€ shirts from one of these "fast-fashion" chains than a 100€ one from a good boutique. The quality of the material usually is flagrant when wearing it. It can look cheap and usually it does not survive more than 5 cleanings. Touch the material before buying, try it on to see how it looks and prefer buying one good piece instead of four cheap pieces that you will have to throw in few weeks.
• Take good care of your clothes. Bring them to the dry cleaner when you know it is dangerous to wash it yourself. Fold them properly. Have a tidy dressing. If you don't have enough space to store all of your clothes, declutter. Get rid of stuff that are too small, too big, no longer fashionable and overly used.
-Your attitude towards others:
• Show kindness, respect, gratitude and be helpful to others.
• Don't criticize people behind their back.
• The "golden rule" -treat others as you would like to be treated- should be one of the first rules applied inside and outside the house.
• The way you interact with your spouse will show your children how they must treat the opposite sex and how they should be treated. Be a lady to your husband and be a gentleman to your wife. -your attitude within your own family
• Family is the base cell of the society, it must be built on strong foundations. Make a habit of taking care of the seniors by calling or visiting them regularly.
• Listen to each others.
• Share and give
*Patience
They won't know everything overnight. Be patient and kind. Repeat in a calm and soft voice and continue to show the good example. Little by little, they will live graciously as if elegance was part of their DNA.
*Consider enrolling in etiquette classes
If you want to show the best example to your children but feel that you are in need of guidance, consider enrolling to an etiquette lesson! Send me an email at nadia@allureetiquette.com to make your request. It will be the opportunity for you to learn the basis of elegance, good manners and etiquette. It will help you improve yourself and feel more confident in all aspects of your life.
Luckily for you, I used to have an in-depth programme that would provide all the knowledge to develop the skills you need, this programme is no longer delivered through consulting however, it will be available in a comprehensive book I am working on! Don't hesitate to subscribe to get an alert whenever it is out!
תגובות