Elegance through positiveness
- Nadia Ayachi Kabongo
- Mar 23, 2019
- 3 min read
Updated: Aug 22, 2023
{Positiveness is a quality or state characterized by certainty or acceptance or affirmation and dogmatic assertiveness. Synonyms: positivism, positivity Antonyms: negativeness, negativism, negativity. Characterized by habitual skepticism and a disagreeable tendency to deny or oppose or resist suggestions or commands.}
How being elegant is relevant to being positive?
I usually write articles and posts on my instagram page (@madame.kabongo) about etiquette, good manners, elegance in style and lifestyle. I share tips and rules of etiquette to help people on being a better version of themselves, become confident and able to control their behaviours and handle certain situations. One of my goals is for etiquette and good manners to be well-spread worldwide for a more peaceful and polite world.
An elegant person is not just about being well-dressed. In fact, being well- dressed is just one of the corollaries of being elegant. When you are an elegant person, you are polite, refined, well-spoken, kind, altruistic, confident, humble and you demonstrate self-respect as well as respect towards others, no matter what their age, background or social status are.
Elegance is something you can develop. I don’t think anyone can be born with it, if someone has it since an early age, it is most likely due to the education received, learning through imitation of people in the environment they were raised in.
An elegant person has a peaceful charisma, people love being surrounded by this person. Why? Because they usually feel good or even better when they spend time with this person. The truth is, we cannot make people feel better if we have negative vibes. We cannot be elegant without being positive.
Being positive. What does that even mean?
Let’s review the meaning of the antonym, the word negativity. It says that it is “characterized by habitual skepticism and a disagreeable tendency to deny or oppose or resist suggestions or commands.” Someone negative will prefer to choose to see the bad more than the good. In all situations, this person will always find a reason to whine, blame, be angry and usually thinks that everyone or everything is against them. This person cannot see criticism as something good, they don’t see criticism as an opportunity to grow, learn or improve.
On the contrary, the negative person will either respond aggressively and won’t be open to listen and won’t try to understand another person’s point of view. The fact that it says “habitual” skepticism is very accurate as well. It is, indeed, a habit for the negative person to doubt the truth of everything.
This state of mind is a poison for the person but sadly, also for their entourage. It is very hard to enjoy the company of someone who constantly find something negative to say about everything, someone who complains all the time, who is not able to learn because they refuse criticism, who have difficulties to take responsibilities for their mistakes and rather blame others.
Usually, they don’t even realize how deep they are in the state of negativity as it is a normal way for them to think and never thought in any other way.
That being said, it is now clear what a positive state of mind is. If you are positive, then you are not offended by criticism but instead, you gladly welcome it as you see it as an opportunity to be better. You tend to see the bright side of everything, even in the most unfortunates events. You understand that no one is perfect and prefer to focus on the good in them. You tend to compliment people and you take responsibility for your mistakes without letting them pull you back.

Luckily for you, I used to have an in-depth programme that would provide all the knowledge to develop the skills you need, this programme is no longer delivered through consulting however, it will be available in a comprehensive book I am working on! Don't hesitate to subscribe to get an alert whenever it is out!
Comments